The Anonymous Friendship Implementation
by marcelb
Summary: Having a friend, who you've only communicated with through an anonymous email address has its benefits. It can be more comfortable to tell them your fears and dreams than it would be to someone you actually see regularly.


**A/N: I recently was reading a story from another fandom and from that, it sparked what you're about to read. Initially I had planned to just write a few notes (I have enough unfinished but ongoing stories as it is), but the muses would not allow me to let it go. So, here it is.  
**

 **Disclaimers: Don't own The Big Bang Theory or anything remotely related to the show, cast or crew. I did borrow a few lines of dialog from the first three episodes of the very first season, as well as certain settings. I also borrowed the idea from another writer, though her execution is a million times better.**

* * *

Penny sat down on the bed in her friend's spare room, exhaling loudly at the boxes spread around along the walls. She was free, that's how she should look at it, but it still hurt. She frowned slightly. No, she wasn't hurt; she was scared. She'd have to go and find her own apartment soon, live on her own. No more safety net. The training wheels were off. And _that_ scared her, enough so that she had opted to stay in the relationship with Kurt, despite various obvious indicators he might have been cheating on her.

Still, catching him with that girl in their bed had forced her hand, forced her to end the relationship. He didn't love her, probably never had. She was just convenient to have around and not adverse to having sex on a regular basis. And he'd been convenient as an extra source of income so they at least had food every day. They'd kept up appearances for most of their four years together.

Sighing again, she pulled her laptop onto her lap and booted it up. What she needed was the comfort of her closest friend, despite the fact they'd never even met. A little over eight years ago, while she was still in middle school, a national project had been started, where two students across the country would be randomly matched up and were encouraged to correspond with each other on a regular basis. A special email service was used, which assigned random user names to ensure privacy. Clear instructions had been given to not share actual names or photos, the latter more or less enforced by the email service, but almost everyone Penny knew had - within a week - broken the rules, simply by exchanging their real email addresses, allowing them to exchange photos.

Penny hadn't done that, the idea of having a friend to talk to without said friend knowing everything appealing a lot more. She'd mentioned a few basic things, such as her age and being a girl, and some of her interests. Her assigned friend turned out to be a couple of years older and a guy. Through their exchanges it became clear he was quite shy and bit of a nerd and not once had he encouraged her to share more than she had. As the project was reaching its end, she'd asked him if there was a way they could continue like this - anonymous but still continuing their friendship. He'd replied back that he'd set up another anonymous address at one of the popular free email services and encourage her to do the same, which she had.

For some reason, talking with him came very easy to her, allowing her to talk about her dreams and fears, though she was careful to keep it as vague as possible. She quickly navigated to the email service she used exclusively to keep in touch with her anonymous best friend. She was greeted by the last mail he'd send her, only a few days ago, and she paused, gnawing on her bottom lip. Should she really bother him with her issues? Going by his last email, he'd been having some problems of his own recently, and she didn't really want to heap onto his own crap. Then again, he'd made her promise to talk to him when something was bothering her, or if she was going through some tough times. With another sigh, she pressed the compose button to start her email letter to him.

 _Hey Jedi!_

 _I've broken up with my boyfriend. I caught him in bed with another woman and that was it. Knowing how smart you are, you probably already figured out I was suspicious of his fidelity. I probably should've broken up with him_ _ **way**_ _sooner than I did, but that's how it is._

 _I'm currently staying with a friend, who happened to have a spare room and bed available. It's okay for the time being, but she's in a new relationship, so I'm thinking I should find something for myself as soon as possible. Not that she said that (and neither has her boyfriend), but they don't need Gloomy McGloomerson cramping their style :)_

Penny gnawed on her lip once more, not sure if she should explain to him _why_ she'd stuck around for so long. With a small shrug she decided to just go for it. He didn't know who she was, anyway, and as far as she knew he'd kept everything she'd ever told him to himself.

 _At this point, I probably should mention that I never really was in love. Being with him was just, well, safe, I guess. He didn't mistreat me and he made pretty decent money. God, that makes me look like a prostitute, doesn't it? I let him do me, so I had money to spend on shoes and stuff. How shallow am I?_

She paused once more, this time to consider deleting that last paragraph. It wasn't until she'd written it out that she had felt dirty for, more or less, selling her body for financial gains. The only difference seemed to be there wasn't an actual monetary transaction taking place whenever they'd have sex. She didn't want Jedi to think she was like that, but on the other hand, this was something that had happened, and she wanted to, no, needed to talk to someone. He was safe to confess to; after all, he didn't know who she was, and it wasn't likely they would run into one another.

* * *

# # #

* * *

Leonard sat down in his desk chair, finally a moment to himself, with Sheldon occupied by Howard and Raj. Time to see if Moondance had written him. He was a bit worried about her. From all their conversations it had become clear that her boyfriend was cheating on her, something she was suspecting for a while, but she still stayed with him. Why would she do that? It was clear to him she wasn't happy with her boyfriend; besides mentioning him being tall and muscular, there never was any indication she had deep feelings for him.

He frowned as he logged in to his secondary personal email account, wondering why he was worried about her. This was a woman who could take care of herself, going by the various conversations they'd been having over the past eight years. When a guy had tried to mistreat her, she'd make sure he wouldn't ever try something like that again. Leonard still wasn't quite sure how to envision her, partly caused by the conflicting information he'd gleaned from their talks.

There was a new message from her, no subject. That was weird, Moondance always added some funny subject to the message. As he read the email, he felt sorry for her for even thinking she was shallow. She wasn't, of that he was very sure. She was very compassionate and supportive, had frequently responded back with kind, supportive words whenever he was having a tough time. Not for the first time he wished he could do something to help her. Here she was looking for a new place, and the one right across the hall was available. But from their conversations he'd gotten the impression she was from somewhere in the mid-west, though she had mentioned once she was moving away from home with tall-and-buff. None of their later correspondence had given him any indication as to where she had move to, or if she'd even moved very far.

 _Hey Moondance,_

 _I'm sorry things didn't work out, though I'm glad you didn't let this relationship continue after you caught him with another woman. Despite your claim of not really loving him, I know this hurts. I want you to remember that you are a good person, and no matter what the situation was between you and your ex, he should not have slept with someone else. That is on him, not you. To be honest, I'm surprised he did that, even though he had such a wonderful woman in his life._

He paused. Should he even write something like that? He didn't want her to think he was coming on to her now that she was available. She didn't need that from him. What she needed was his friendship and his support. Reading the last sentence a few more times he decided to leave it as it was now.

 _I can understand you not wanting to impose on your friend and her new relationship, though I'm not quite sure if you really are that gloomy. Not at your happiest, sure, but somehow you don't strike me as being sad for very long._

 _Please, don't ever compare yourself to a prostitute, I know you aren't one. Moving away from home, from all your family and friends can be scary, and I can understand you needing someone around to help you out and share living expenses. Especially since you moved away at such a young age. That doesn't make you a prostitute._

 _I hope you'll find a place quickly, though. A place where you can feel safe and just relax. One piece of advice though: if you get a roommate and she starts to ask you all kinds of questions, and especially if a roommate agreement is presented to you,_ _ **run like hell!**_ _:D I'm only partially kidding; I think I've mentioned the hoops I've jumped through to be able to live in this apartment. Let me tell you, my roommate is the craziest person you'll ever meet (though for your sake, I hope you never do)._

 _Keep me updated on your apartment hunt, I like knowing you're okay. I'm sorry for keeping this short, but I'm currently enjoying a rare moment of being by myself, and there are a few things I'd like to do before my crazy roommate returns. Until next time,_

 _Jedi_

Leonard reread his email a few times, making sure to not seem to be too pushy or say anything that might scare her off. Satisfied there was nothing in there his best friend couldn't handle, he hit send.

* * *

# # #

* * *

 _Hi Jedi,_

 _Thank you for your kind words. You really care for me, don't you? Well, good news: I have an apartment and I'll be moving in_ _ **today**_ _! It's not very big, but it's just me and, most importantly, affordable ;) I'm actually looking forward to live on my own, though I'm also terrified. Especially because I ran into another tenant two floors down and she literally said "you're not going to enjoy living there." I was so worried, I actually had a session with a psychic, but she said my new place would be perfect, as it would lead me to meet the love of my life. She's never been wrong, so I'm looking forward to that!_

 _Hey, did you guys get a new neighbor yet? I remember you telling me he was moving out and that was a few weeks ago. Oh, the movers are coming, so I have to go now._

 _TTYL, Moondance_

Penny quickly hit send, shutdown her laptop and packed it up. Within a minute she was ready and watching the movers put her boxes in the van. An hour later she watched them unload them in her new apartment, feeling slightly guilty about the lack of a working elevator. But then again, she'd made up for it with her choice of attire and the guys really didn't seem to care all that much. Once the movers had left, she quickly showed her friend her new place, before she, too, had to leave.

Exhaling loudly she looked around at the boxes standing in her living room, not sure where to begin with the job of unpacking. From the corner of her eye she saw two guys coming up the stairs and, not unhappy about being distracted a bit longer, walked toward the open door. "Oh, hi!"

"Hi," both of them said, and then said it again.

"Hi?" Penny was wondering how this would go. She could tell both guys were uncomfortable, though seemingly for different reasons. The taller of the two just didn't strike her as being social at all, the shorter, bespectacled guy just seemed nervous, worried about giving the wrong impression.

The shorter guy, despite his obvious nerves, took the lead, only confirming to her the tall one just wasn't interested in talking to anyone. "We don't mean to interrupt, we live across the hall."

"Oh, that's nice." A shame, because the shorter guy was kinda cute.

"Oh... uh... no... we don't live together... um... we live together but in separate, heterosexual bedrooms."

Penny smiled. "Oh, okay, well, I guess I'm your new neighbor, Penny."

"Leonard, Sheldon," Leonard said pointing first to himself, then to his roommate.

They went through another round of 'hi' and Leonard welcomed her to the building. She offered to have coffee some time and then the guys said goodbye, forcing her to go back to unpacking. Or at least start with it. So when Leonard and Sheldon returned a minute later inviting her to lunch, Penny happily ignored the nervous talk about colon hygiene and went with them to their apartment.

* * *

# # #

* * *

 _Hi Jedi,_

 _I've moved in and met the neighbor across the hall. It isn't as bad as the woman two floors down had made it out to be, then again, I've only been here for twenty-four hours._

 _Moving is hard work, man! I was lucky the movers were willing to carry the boxes up to my apartment (wouldn't you know it; the elevator was broken. I hope they fix it soon, though walking the stairs every day will be good to stay in shape). I'm sure the top I wore helped persuade them. The benefits of being a cute young girl ;)_

 _Speaking of cuties, how did it go with that girl you liked? Did you ask her out yet? Knowing you, you probably haven't for some stupid reason like not feeling worthy to be with her. You really need to get over that, Jedi. You're a great person, and you deserve happiness, just like everyone else. Any girl would be lucky to have someone like you._

 _Well, another short email, but I sent two in a single day, so that evens out. I'm just too tired right now to stay up any longer. Hope to hear from you soon._

 _xo Moondance_

Leonard grinned reading the email. One thing he'd learned about Moondance was that she was very comfortable in her skin and not afraid to use her looks to her advantage. Not having exchanged much about their appearance, all Leonard knew for sure was that she was a cute girl and not wearing glasses. Other than that he had to use his imagination. He figured she was a redhead because of how feisty she seemed in her letters to him; to him, feisty and redhead went together like Han Solo and Chewbacca. She probably had long hair and was taller than him, which was the case with quite a few women he knew.

It bothered him she'd assumed he hadn't followed through and ask Anna out on a date. She was right, he hadn't, but it bothered him she had more or less known. Over the years she'd told him occasionally he was a great guy and the right woman was out there waiting for him. He knew better than to voice his real opinion, but he severely doubted he'd find someone who loved him, who would help him through the rough times he still experienced from time to time.

 _Hey Moondance,_

 _Glad you have your place and have it all to yourself. Good to know those movers were so nice to bring those boxes all the way up. It's always a bit nerve wrecking meeting new neighbors; recently our next door neighbor moved out; we didn't have much contact with him, mostly because of my crazy roommate, but at least that was familiar. Our new neighbor is a young woman, and I found it infinitely harder to have a conversation with her. I really said some crazy stuff that I'm not even going to repeat to you. So embarrassing!_

 _You were right about me not asking that girl out. I wouldn't say they are stupid reasons; she could get any guy she wants, so why would she even want to go out with a nerd? Plus, I've had a bad experience with an attractive girlfriend before, so I'm not sure if that's the way to go for me. I should probably find a nerdy girl and try my luck with that._

 _Speaking of nerdy, the guys and I are training for a quest on World of Warcraft, which is a MMORPG, or Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game (you can see why we prefer to abbreviate that). And then in a few weeks, we'll be playing for probably three days straight. It's really exciting, having to work together as a team to achieve a single goal. You wouldn't want to be in our apartment, I think. For one, you might be ignored completely, and two, it's probably smelly. We once played an entire weekend, only to be interrupted by the police, because the neighbors thought we'd died._

 _What do you do for fun? Still rebuilding tractor engines, I bet :p Earlier I was thinking about how much we know about each other through all our letters, though we really don't know any details about each other. For example, I have no idea what you look like (all I really know is that you don't wear glasses, and you must be attractive if you can get the movers to do some extra work), so I have this made up image of you in my head. I'm envisioning you to be a tall redhead, because you come of as being this feisty girl which, to me, means red (ish) hair. And tall, because you are probably a model of some sort (again, just a guess, but you have mentioned that looking good is important for your career)._

 _I'm not saying all of this because I want you to tell me more about you than you are comfortable sharing, it's just something that came to my mind earlier. I'm guessing you must have some image of me, what I look like, what I do for a living. Feel free to divulge that to me in your next email._

 _I hope you're really okay, after the break-up. Just know that you deserve someone in your life who treats you like the most important person in his life, someone who doesn't lie and cheat. There's someone out there for you, I just know it. And yes, I realize I'm pretty much repeating what you told me, but for some reason I think you've not applied that mindset to yourself. And remember, I'm here for you if you need to talk about things to someone._

 _I'm really grateful for our friendship and I love our email exchanges very much. I hope we'll be able to keep this up for many more years. You're probably my best friend in the world, and this is definitely the longest friendship I've ever had. So, thank you for being, and continuing to be, my friend._

 _Jedi_

* * *

# # #

* * *

 _Hi Jedi!_

 _Yeah, neighbors can be scary, but I don't mind meeting new people (I'm a people person, if you hadn't figured that out yet). But you never know if you will get along with your neighbors, but so far I have nothing to complain about. I met almost everyone in the apartment building and they all seem very nice. And don't worry about saying stupid things when you first met your neighbor. I'm sure that once you got a bit more comfortable, she found a really nice guy living next door. You_ _ **have**_ _talked to her since then, right?_

 _Ha, I knew it! You chickened out, again. You do realize that looks aren't everything when it comes to having a relationship, right? So what if she's cute enough that every man wants her? If she likes you, she'll let you know and you'll be the envy of many men. And not all girls are the same; just because a pretty girl treated you wrong, doesn't mean that every pretty girl will. Besides, it kind of proves the point that what's on the outside doesn't say anything about what's on the inside, and that is what counts._

 _I can't believe you guys actually train for some video game, that's nuts! And then playing it for days on end? I think you're right, I wouldn't want to be there, though I'm not so sure you wouldn't pay any attention to me. I think you wouldn't be able to stop asking me questions, trying to line up what I've told you in our emails with the real deal. And I've been told I'm not hard to look at ;)_

 _Oh my God! That was just one time! I'm_ _ **not**_ _rebuilding tractor engines, and definitely not for fun. So, what do I do for fun? Well, shoe shopping has got to be at the top of my list. Other than that, I mostly like hanging out with my friends or go clubbing._

 _Wow, are you off about what I look like and what I do for a living :D Not even close, buster. I'm not nearly tall enough to be model. But you are right; my image of you is probably way off (though I like to think I've got a pretty good impression). Let's see, I know you're wearing glasses and from what you told me, you are not very tall (several times you've told me about being teased about your height). Being such a nerd and preferring video games over pretty much any activity, I'm guessing you're not exactly an athlete, but I don't think you're overweight._

Penny paused with a frown. She had a certain image of Jedi in her mind, faceless, but she had an image, and it had been there for a long time. As she was writing out what she knew about him, the image had briefly gained a set of dark eyes and dark curly hair. Not unlike Leonard, who was definitely the cutest of her two neighbors. But all Jedi and Leonard had in common **physically** were the short stature and glasses. Yes, there were other commonalities - both were quite shy and very smart - but the thought that Jedi and Leonard were one and the same was ridiculous. For one thing, she was pretty sure Jedi lived on the east coast; he'd accidentally let that slip in one of their early exchanges.

 _I am doing okay. Sometimes it's hard because, despite what my ex did, I still have some feelings for him. Like I said before, I never really was in love, but it wasn't that I disliked him. But I don't want to talk about him; maybe that way I'll be able to forget him, or at the very least get over my feelings for him._

 _Of course I'll continue to be your friend. Why would that stop? Trust me, nothing and no-one will get in between our friendship and conversations, at least not from my side. Even my ex, though he tried once, knew not to demand I stop talking to you. I value our friendship at least as much as you do, so stop worrying, okay?_

 _I urge you to try and ask the girl out; the worst that could happen is her saying no, but if you don't take the leap, you'll never know for sure. And I have another 'assignment' for you: befriend your new neighbor, get to know her, talk to her. If she's anything like me, she'll appreciate having a friendly neighbor, someone close by she could go to if she's struggling with the crap of the world._

* * *

# # #

* * *

 _Hi Moondance,_

 _I'm an idiot, there's no other fitting description for me. My crazy roommate had an even crazier idea than normally and, idiot that I am, I went along with this harebrained scheme. I knew how stupid this was, knew this would come and bite us in the ass, and boy, did it. My roommate, oblivious to pretty much every social etiquette, couldn't fathom his scheme wouldn't be seen as anything but friendly. I can't even tell you what it is we did, that's how bad this is. Suffice it to say, our new neighbor: not that happy with us._

 _On top of that, the girl I was interested in, already has a boyfriend. So that's two girls I know who will likely not have anything to do with me for the rest of their lives._

Leonard paused, contemplating his options. He should apologize to Penny, but he wasn't quite sure how to do that. She didn't even want to speak with him or Sheldon. Besides, him talking often lead to his foot ending up in his mouth. As he stared at the email to Moondance, it suddenly occurred to him that writing was a good way to express his regret in, perhaps by referencing some of the famous scientists and the regret they had felt for their contribution to their field. But this should be a hand written letter, one he could slip under her door; he was fairly sure that Penny wouldn't even open an email from him now, and he couldn't blame her. Happy with this decision, he refocused his attention to writing his email to his oldest and dearest friend.

 _I just had an idea how I could apologize to our neighbor, though. I just hope she'll accept it, that she'll understand that it wasn't my intention to make her feel, for a lack of a better word, violated. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't interact with women, I only seem to scare them off. Of all the women in my life, you're the only one who seem to like me. This is the primary reason, for me, why I feel that we should never meet in person; there's too high of a risk you'll end our friendship._

 _I realize I'm kind of cutting this email short, but I want to work on my apology to our neighbor. It's important that I get it right and apologize as soon as possible, before I ruin any chance of doing so._

Once he'd hit send, he opened up his word processor and began typing his apology; he'd copy it by hand later, but for writing, this worked better. Chances were he'd be going back and forth, improving his apology as he went along, and that was easier to do electronically.

* * *

# # #

* * *

Penny shook her head as she read Jedi's latest mail. Did he have any clue how much he was giving away in his mails to her? It surprised her though that her best friend, the gentlest of souls she ever met, had done something bad, though from the email it was obvious he deeply regretted it. Clearly it all had made another dent in his confidence. Penny hit reply, determined to show Jedi what he'd - most likely, unknowingly - given away, as well as reaffirm how great of a person he really was.

 _Dearest Jedi,_

 _Did you notice you spent only two sentences on the girl you_ _ **thought**_ _you wanted, and pretty much the remainder of your email was about your neighbor and your treatment of her? You seemed way more upset about your neighbor not wanting to talk to you anymore, than you were finding out the other girl had a boyfriend. That should tell you something, Jedi._

 _As to your neighbor, I'm sure that given some time, she'll realize that a single error in judgment is not worth it to throw away a potential friendship. I can't imagine you doing something so horrible she wouldn't be able to forgive you. I'm sure an apology will go a long way to help that, so please do that if you haven't already._

 _You really have to let go of this negative self image; you're an amazing man (I have tons of mails from you to back up that claim) and_ _ **any**_ _girl would be lucky to have your companionship, generosity and love. I know you, my friend. When you love someone, you love them deeply. My biggest fear for you is not that you won't find the love of your life, my fear is that whoever you'd find would take advantage of your gentle, giving nature, taking you for granted._

 _I know about your relationships with the various women in your life. You are obviously not the cause of the way your mother and sister have treated you. Frankly, their treatment of you, as a parent or older sister, is simply unforgivable; even taking into account that siblings often fight doesn't make the things your sister has said or done any more acceptable. You have no idea how often I've wished I could send you a letter to give to them; let them know exactly what I thought of them._

 _I've been questioning if we really should keep hiding behind our aliases. Not once have you said or done anything that would indicate you are nothing short of an amazing and loyal friend. Maybe it's time we stop following these childish rules; they were good rules to follow when we were young and still in school, but we are both adults now. I think meeting each other, face to face, is something we really should do sometime, and that's exactly why I'm still hesitant. I'm not exactly rich, and if weren't for my neighbors, I might not even have food every night (and you have no idea how bad I feel about that). So, I wouldn't be able to afford a long flight to wherever you are and it would feel I'd be taking advantage of your generosity. But perhaps we could start with just video calling?_

 _How would you feel about this, Jedi? Don't think I would stop liking you if we would meet face to face (or screen to screen); there's just no way I would stop liking you as much as I do, just because you would be uncomfortable and might say something awkward. So, please think about it, okay?_

* * *

# # #

* * *

Leonard was sweating profusely, his date with Penny making him more nervous than anything. He had figured he could read Moondance's latest email, which he knew she'd sent but he'd been unable to read it before, and then write her a reply, sure that it would calm him at least a bit. Bad idea. Moondance apparently wanted to meet him, or at the very least have a video chat. He'd better put a stop to that immediately; despite her assurance she wouldn't stop liking him, he was not sure.

 _Hi Moondance,_

 _Wow, you want us to meet. That's big. And probably not a good idea. I'm just not good at the whole face to face communicating with anyone of the female populace. Case in point: my new neighbor. I've apologized to her and we were good and then today I screwed it up again by talking to her. I've asked her out on a date. At least, that was my intention. She misunderstood my invitation and believes it's going to be with all our friends, who are not going to be there, obviously._

 _I'm still not sure if I should go, but if I wouldn't nobody would show up and she'd think I was crazy. So, I guess, the only thing I can do is go to the restaurant with her and tell her our friends couldn't make it because of work or something. But you can see why I think us talking face to face is a really bad idea; I would screw it up and I really don't want to lose our friendship, that would hurt way too much._

 _You have no idea how nervous I am. Just a date with her would be nerve wrecking, but knowing I have mislead her and she doesn't even know it's going to be a date makes it much worse. What if she finds out I mislead her? What if I clam up and can't say anything? Will she even enjoy the evening when it's just the two of us? I wish you could give me some advice, but by the time you read this, I'm probably already going to be on the date!_

 _I should just get ready and hope I have not screwed things between her and I. Wish me luck!_

 _Your idiot friend,_

 _Jedi_

Leonard quickly read over the email and then just hit send. With the email sent, he closed his laptop and decided to take one more quick shower and then he'd have to go across the hall and pick up his date.

* * *

# # #

* * *

Dinner had gone well, Penny thought on their way back home, though she had found herself distracted; the thoughts would just not stop. On their way to the restaurant she had read Jedi's email. Even then it had occurred to her she had simply assumed tonight was going to be with the gang, just like Jedi's neighbor had. And when she'd thought about the invitation some more, especially Leonard's response, her suspicions had grown.

Leonard's easy dismissal of why the rest of the gang wouldn't be there - honestly, a colonoscopy? What had he been thinking? - had further cemented it for her: Leonard and Jedi were one and the same person. He'd tried to impress her with a trick to get an olive in the glass without touching it, but as Jedi he'd already told her that when he'd tried to explain the difference between centripetal and centrifugal forces, a subject that had stumped her in science class. He - Leonard - had been impressed when she not only showed him she knew how to do that, but was actually able to tell him which force was the main cause of this trick.

Clearly, Penny had been at an advantage during dinner; she'd been very aware of not just the real reason of their dinner, but also that the two of them had far more knowledge of each other than they had first thought. Initially she'd been tempted to tell him, but then decided against this course of action. Jedi needed a boost in his self confidence, and she could certainly help him better by keeping him in the dark for a while.

But of course this new perspective had distracted her quite a bit. Every time Leonard had told her something about him, his life, she'd recalled the actual email he'd sent years before. In those emails the hurt he'd felt had come through a thousand times stronger, telling her that Leonard was clearly trying not to have his emotional burden unloaded on her and affect their evening. At the same time, all Penny had wanted to do at the restaurant, was to just hug him close and not let go for a long time. The same hugs she'd wanted to give him all those years ago as she'd read one of his emails detailing the way he'd been treated.

"I had a nice time."

Penny smiled. "Yeah, me too." She wanted to tell him, but she really wanted him to admit what had been his goal for the evening. She needed to stall, give him another chance. "Well, um, good night." _Great stalling there, Penny._ As Leonard turned and started toward the apartment he shared with Sheldon, Penny decided she needed to prompt him. "Leonard? Was this supposed to be a date?" _Please, Leonard, admit it. You must know that tonight went really well for you._

"This? No. No, of course not, this was just you and me hanging out with a bunch of guys who didn't show up, because of work and a colonoscopy."

Penny was disappointed he hadn't taken his chance. "Okay, I was just checking." She'd just have to type an email, check how he thought the date had gone.

"When I take a girl out on a date, and I do, she knows she's been dated. Capital D. Bold face, underline, like Day-ted."

Penny watched him walk back to the door, obviously embarrassed by the way he'd tried to make her believe this had not been a date. Screw writing an email. "Hey Leonard? Did you know that Moondance is the name of my pet pig?"

At his shocked expression she walked into her apartment, leaving the door open for Leonard.

* * *

 **And this is where it ends. I _may_ one day write a follow up story, going through the history of their email exchanges, but no promises on that one.**


End file.
